FrenchEd
by Peach Creek
Summary: Kevedd one-shot. Inspired by the fanfic "Our Journey" by heytheregisela. Kevin takes Edd to a club, gets him a little bit drunk, and discovers that he harbors some very sweet feelings towards the other. Rated M for language and use of alcohol.


Edd felt his head begin to buzz, and to his surprise he found the sensation to be quite pleasant. For once the pounding bass and screeching electronic melodies were failing to give him a headache. He swirled his glass around, watching the liquid froth against the sides. After a moment, he raised the rim to his lips and downed the rest of the drink. He left the cup on the table and plunged into the crowd to find Kevin. He felt a sudden and unexpected desire to dance, and he sure wasn't going to do it with one of these potentially unsanitary strangers. At least he knew for a fact that Kevin showered regularly. He weaved and ducked around people, trying as hard as he could in his inebriated state to avoid touching anybody. This turned out to be harder than he had anticipated. He was woozy enough that he kept bumping into sweaty people, and the bright, flashing lights made it difficult to spot that familiar red baseball cap.

Edd stopped abruptly. _Kevin left his hat at the hotel._ Despair washed over him. Now he would never find him, and he couldn't remember how to get back to the table. He panicked, whirling around desperately and smacking nose first into the shoulder of the clubber behind him. He fell back, eyes watering as he stared up at the girl. She seemed impossibly tall. Her legs stretched on forever, ending in a pair of tight, shiny shorts. A black piercing interrupted the smooth, flat expanse of her long torso. She appeared to be wearing nothing but a sports bra as a top. There was a word written across it, but it wasn't English. He squinted at it, trying to decipher it, until he suddenly realized that he was staring at her breasts. He cheeks stained red, he scrambled to his feet and stammered out an apology. He turned to run, but she wrapped a hand around his wrist and laughed. She spoke a quick phrase. Edd blinked. He hadn't understood a word of it.

"Pardon?" he asked. She repeated herself, but it didn't help. He furrowed his brow. "I'm afraid I don't understand…"

Realization dawned on her face. "Parlez-vous français?"

"Oh!" His eyes grew wide as he struggled to remember the little bit of French he'd studied in high school. "Ah…un peu." He held up his fingers to indicate a small amount.

She smiled at him. "Américain?" she asked.

He nodded. "Oui. Je…" His hands flapped around uselessly as he searched for the words. "Je visite avec mon ami."

"Ah, bon! Est-ce que tu aimes cette ville?" she asked brightly. Her hands slid into his and she coaxed him into dancing with her.

His mind worked furiously to translate the sentence. _You like this…what does ville mean again? Oh! City! Do I like this city? _His face broke into a smile. Pleased with himself, he replied, "Oui! Beaucoup! Mais je…" He faltered again. "Je n'ai pas mon ami. Tu…tu assistes moi?"

"Ton ami?" She thought for a moment, trying to frame the question in a way he would understand. "Ton ami est grand ou petit?"

_Grand or petit? I assume petit means small, so… _"Grand."

"Il a des cheveux noirs?" She reached out and touched a hair to Edd's beanie. "Ou blond?" She touched a hand to her choppy blonde hair.

He frowned. _I believe she is asking about the color of his hair. Oh, dear. I don't remember colors._ He patted his pockets down for something red to show her. His hand brushed over his back pocket and bumped into his phone. The service had been turned off, but he kept it with him to tell the time (and take sneaky photos of Kevin). _Of course! I have a picture!_ Delighted, he pulled his phone out and scrolled through to find the picture of Kevin he took in front of the Eiffel Tower. He held it out to her.

"Ah!" she shouted, startling Edd and everyone around them. "Oui, bien sûr! Suives-moi!"

She took his hand again and began pulling him through the crowd. Edd protested, reaching for his phone. They moved closer to the front. The speakers seemed to vibrate and he felt the music reverberate through his chest. Any pleasant feelings he might have had earlier were slowly being replaced by a throbbing headache. She pulled him closer and closer and he found himself digging his heels in, until they broke through a wall of shouting people and there he was.

Kevin danced with reckless abandon, sloshing his drink across the floor. Onlookers stood in a circle and cheered him on. Edd caught a few girls giggling and staring, and he felt a tired sort of jealousy well up inside of him. Who was he to compete against such pretty girls? He let his shoulders slump and turned to leave. Any desire to do anything but go home faded away. His French escort glanced between the girls, Kevin, and Edd, connected the dots, and squealed.

"L'amour, non?" she beamed. She grabbed Edd by the shoulders and shoved him forward. "Bonne chance!" she shouted as she melted back into the crowd.

The force of the push sent Edd stumbling out into the middle of the circle. There was caught up in strong arms. Kevin grinned stupidly down at him. He tossed his drink to the side and wrapped an arm around Edd's waist.

"Dance with me, dork!"

"Kevin, I'm not sure this is a good idea," Edd replied.

"What, are you not drunk enough? Come on, let's get you another drink."

"Kevin, wait. I think I'm going to return to the hotel instead." He paused, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "However, you should feel free to remain here. I believe those girls over there would leap at the chance to dance with you."

"Fuck those girls," Kevin slurred. He spun Edd around and pulled him back against his hips, grinding to the beat of the music.

"Oh, I'm sure they'd _love_ that," Edd muttered.

"What?" Kevin leaned in so he could hear.

Edd blushed and looked away. "It's nothing, Kevin."

Kevin gave him an odd look. He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it. He took Edd's hand in his, lacing their fingers together firmly.

"Come on," he said. "We're getting you another drink. I had this one about an hour ago that tasted just like fucking candy. It was great. You'll love it."

Edd swallowed his protest at the determined look on Kevin's face. He knew by this point that resistance would get him nowhere. Once Kevin had his mind set, there was not stopping him. They approached the bar tucked away in the far corner. Kevin gestured at him to wait there. Edd watching him push his way to the front, slap a bill on the counter, and then elbow his way back out, careful not to spill the bright blue liquid he carried in tall glasses. He pressed one into Edd's hand, linked their arms together, and grinned.

"To us!" he said.

Edd felt his face grow hot but he smiled. "To us."

* * *

"Oh, _god_…" Edd whined. He hunched over in the alley beside the club, one hand braced on the side of the dumpster. He might have to burn that hand later to free it of the bacteria that was surely crawling all over it by this point.

Kevin rubbed his back, trying unsuccessfully to hide his grin. "I told you to slow down."

"I thought—" He paused to dry heave. "—I could handle it. One of the side effects of alcohol is severely impaired judgment, after all. I am hardly to blame. If anything, this is your fault."

"_My_ fault?"

"You should have stopped me."

Kevin was preparing to be upset until he caught the teasing smile on Edd's face. He smiled back. "Come on. Let's get you home, you little drunkard."

"I am _not_ a drunkard!" Edd protested. He let Kevin pull one of his arms around broad shoulders and he leaned into the redhead for support. "That did not taste nearly as good coming up as it did going down."

Kevin threw his head back and laughed. "No shit, Sherlock. Did you enjoy yourself, though?"

"I suppose."

"I suppose," Kevin mimicked. "The candy drink was good, right?"

"Yes, but it's not the best thing I've had in Paris."

"What? You're crazy." Kevin steadied Edd as he stumbled. "That was the best thing I've tasted in years. What could you possibly think tastes better than that?"

"All the food in the world cannot compare to the taste of your name on my tongue," Edd murmured.

Edd stood up on his toes and pressed a kiss to Kevin's cheek before falling unceremoniously on his face. Kevin scrambled to catch him but to no avail. He settled on helping Edd back to his feet. He inspected the dork's face for damage. Edd smiled goofily at him, his eyes blinking at different speeds. Kevin laughed.

"Bedtime for the romantic poet, I think," he said. They walked in silence for a few moments before Kevin spoke again. "Edd."

The dork looked around at him. "Yes, Kevin?"

"Oh, nothing. Just…just tasting it."


End file.
